A little, uh, contemporary fiction for you guys…
My name’s Joachim and I work at the Subway at the mall. I make sandwiches. It’s pretty good.
So okay when I was at work this lady comes up and asks for my six inch special of the day, which is kind of to my mind you know a little dirty-sounding but anyway it was Friday so that means she wanted a tuna fish salad sandwich. Some people say they want “my” coldcut combo and it is confusing to me because it is not my sandwich, it is just a sandwich, right? When you come and say to me to “give me your six inch special” it makes me wonder if I am to take off my pants which I will not do at work.
But I don’t like to correct people cause sometimes it gives a bad feeling. So only I said, “H’okay!” then I turned around to get the bread, only I did not have asked her what kind of bread she would get and I was like, “Huh.” So I turned to the lady and I said, “What kind of bread, ok?”
She said she wanted Italian bread, only like she did not have it pronounced so right and instead it sounded like Eye-tail-yon, not It-alien like it is supposed to be. I kinda wonder where a lady is from that she talks that way, you know? But it’s ok. I cut a loaf of it in half and made the room for the tuna fish and then I ask you know does she want me to put the sandwich in the toaster.
Maybe she was a kinda confused cause she asked me what I said just then but I had of already forgot it on account of sometimes at work my mind wanders. You know? So I tried to remember what I had just of said (I remember it now but then I did not) I just sort of staring like at I don’t know whatever. But then I look up and the lady that talks weird is looked at me with some kind of expectation in her eyes or whatever and it made me a little nervous.
I did not know of what I could have do.
But all the time it is my habit to admit I am wrong when I am wrong or that I don’t know when I do not have know. I make sandwiches, not cow leavings. So I said to the lady, “Huh. I do not have know what I am said.”
So she said something I did not understand but the word toaster I heard right and it reminded me what I was did, so I asking her again if she has a toasted sandwich or a sandwich that is cold.
She’s like is it pretty good heated?
Like why was this lady breaking my balls it is crazy! Sometimes I see people and I want to say, “Look, buddy, is only a sandwich, man, okay?” But maybe I think it because I see the sandwiches all the time and other people are so just like extremely serious cause of having not a lot of sandwiches before.
So I try to be serious like they are. If you are serious to something and someone else is not to serious, it is a bad feeling. So I said, “Hhhuh!” You know like I was being thoughtful. And then I told the lady, “If you do not have like it I will make it again, ok?”
But instead of answering the lady she just sort of standing there staring at me like I was when I forgot what I had of said. And I am thought again why is the lady being a hardcase?
Anyway she said it was ok so I put it in the toaster with some cheese and she also had lettuce and some other stuff on it like banana peppers or whatever. She did not have take the sandwich back for me to make and so I am you know sort of happy, and later when it was my lunch I maked the same sandwich for it.
But you know? Tuna fish salad with being toasted. It’s not pretty good to me.
Some people talk funny, you know? And some people eat weird stuffs. Some people do all of it. It’s okay.